Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
