ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My day in three words: secret purse cake
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
