The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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