Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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