So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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