Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
3 2 1 whiskey
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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