xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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