That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
