Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
