I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
