how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
