bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
How's work?
Spinning.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize