Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
