someone get that fucking seahorse.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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