so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
