the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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