some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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