i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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