Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
