I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
