I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
