He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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