I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
