he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
