making cat noises will not fix the situation.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
