from now on my penis is your penis
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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