mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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