so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
