My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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