I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
