We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
