Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
