i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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