Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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