do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
