my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
