So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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