I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
