just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
