How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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