Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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