There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
