Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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