My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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