I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
