90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
