he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize