Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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