its not stalking. its research.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize