Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
