She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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