Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is

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(330): View more from Ohio

She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us

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(269): View more from Michigan

I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?

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(415): View more from California

You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.

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(518): View more from New York

Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please

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(619): View more from California

I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.

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