I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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