Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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