So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
