So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
