i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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