I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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