Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How external is "for external use only"?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
