The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize