Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize