Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
