I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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