No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
