I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
