Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
