shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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