I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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