Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
