What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize