and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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