i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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