Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
